Friday, 20 January 2012

No Gratitude No Gladdatude!

I smiled when I saw this quote recently - "No Gratitude No Gladdatude".  Being thankful paves the way for positive mind health like nothing else.  It is hard to be down and out if you are always seeking something to be glad about.  I sincerely know that no matter what you are going through, there is ALWAYS SOMETHING to be grateful for.  Being consciously thankful is a successful treatment for the 'blues', regardless if a clinical condition or simply feeling out of sorts.  No matter your state of circumstance we all can rattle of many things that we are able to be grateful for.  The more things you can think of to be grateful for, the less room in your mind for negative thoughts.  What you may not realise is that ill feeling is just that - ill and it is very possible to think ourselves sick and equally plausible to thank ourselves well.  I read something interesting when I was thinking of what to share with you and it discussed this point that "Grateful people tend to be more optimistic, a characteristic that researchers say boosts the immune system... first-year law students under stress found that, by midterm, students characterised as optimistic (based on survey responses) maintained higher numbers of blood cells that protect the immune system, compared with their more pessimistic classmates." 

What I teach people to is to put pen to paper (or finger to electronic device!) and write a list called "glad to be grateful".  Recording your list this way, moves the content into the forefront of your mind.  When we actively write/type we are taking a conscious step toward instigating change.  So create a word log in whichever way looks attractive to you, with your title "glad to be grateful" in a circle in the middle.  I use radiating lines and write everything that is possible to be thankful for, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant it may seem.  There is no right or wrong answers.  Throughout the day look at your chart and read through it.  Keep adding more and more “glad” content to it.   Reflecting on your “glad to be grateful” list at regular intervals throughout the day leaves little room for low mood because your too busy acknowledging the good things in your life.  Think yourself into a better state of mind with "Gladdatude!"

Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Encouraging Others


It is too easy to look inward at our own wants and needs.  Constantly seeking approval and confirmation from others.  I find the easiest thing to do to create an environment where others are cheering for you is to be an intentional encourager yourself.  

As we near closer to the end of school holidays where many of us have been in an extended role of caring for a little person; be it your own Children, Grandchildren or Nieces and Nephews - it is all too common to be staring at the finish line of the 6 week break.  I have visions of some cheering and jumping up and down, clapping that the end is near!  But I do ask you to take the opportunity to be an intentional encourager in these last two weeks to the person you influence.  Returning to pre-school, school or college is hard and our Children have the exact same feelings about social acceptance as us, but they don't have the tools to make life socially easier as we do - and to be honest if you have not learnt this skill either by now as an adult, then you are really just an aged minor in this area.  We grow older, but without the right tools in the tool belt we cannot grow wiser easily.  And the tools only fit the belt if we practice the method to make a change in our lives.  

The best way to equip your minor that you mentor is to master the art of being an encourager.  If we stop looking for evidence of not being encouraged ourselves and take the lead role in dishing out positive and motivating encouragement to others then it becomes a 'pay it forward' scenario.  Your peers, be it at work or social begin to learn the new language of your personality and they will likely begin to encourage others themselves.  You may find you include other people into your social circle because your new intentional encouraging will attract more positive people into your life.  Make room for these people, they are good for you.  I personally have had an experience recently with a dear friend, someone who is not an encourager at all; she has not been encouraged in her life growing up and typically sees the down side of many situations she is in.  When I spend time with her, rather than dwell on this fact, I go into full drive complimenting her on her work and family success - the key is to being specific about the compliment.  Dear friend in turn feels so valued and appreciated that her negative talk disappears and you can see her head held higher.  She may not give encouragement to me, but the satisfaction of her feeling good about herself has a sense of satisfaction for me anyway.  

We are designed to fellowship so we have an internal drive for seeking peer approval and we are also designed to love and be loved.  Rather than waiting for the love to come from others - set out to intentionally encourage.  Teach your Children to do this to others too so they learn how to master social etiquette themselves.  So my challenge for today is find a young person who is returning to school soon, visualise that person or people in your mind.  Before being in their presence think of all the things that make you really proud to be in their lives.  It may be something about their personality, their talents or their will to take up challenges.  Snuff out anything negative about that person at all.  Now that you are in a state of feeling good about that person, write these positive values down.  Next things it to go to them and make it known just how important they are to you in your life.  Talk to them openly about the importance of encouraging others in their lives - using the same specific visualising technique.  Get them to do this exercise thinking of friends or class peers that they will be seeing soon at school, it will make the transition to a new school term so much easier for them. 

Be encouraged my friend; we all have something to cheer about!